Chapter five is still in progress, if you can believe it. Every time I think it’s wrapping up, it finds a new tangent to explore. I think that’s actually one of the things that has been slowing me down. There are the practical issues, sure — moving house, a less ideal working space, increased demands on my time — but I could work around those if I wanted. The real problem is that when I don’t know what I’m doing I go into heavy procrastination. The more frustrated I feel, the more detached I become and the harder it is for me to get into the right headspace. That struggle frustrates me all the more, and eventually I throw my hands up.
The solution there is to just notice the cycle, lean back, let it drain away, and actively try to place myself where I need to be. It will slip, many times — but meanwhile I will scrabble out a little text. And the more I do it, the easier it is to cling.
I think I’m also impatient. This chapter is sort of an intermission from the main story, and I left that on a cliffhanger just when I was getting into the material that I really want to write about. I don’t like the nonlinear approach, but the linear one is bogging me down. I need to chill and appreciate where I am and what I’m doing. This stuff is interesting and important too, and it will tie in later. Write in the moment.
While we’re here: revised word cloud.